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After seeing the success of similar industry efforts, we at Piquan Software, the developers of Vigor, have initiated a certification and training program to give industry professionals the skills needed to use Vigor most efficiently.
The various levels of training available are as follows:
|Vigor Evildoer Specialist (VES)||-||About 90 percent of the Unix industry uses Vigor, or its inferior precursors, so chances are very good that you are one of the many people using Vigor to get your work done. Now you can prove it, and give yourself and your organization a competitive edge.||$2000.00 US|
|Vigor Certified Evildoer (VCE)||-||The VCE program allows you to demonstrate to your victims that you have the specialized knowledge required to perpetrate evil with particular Vigor features.||$2000.00 US|
|Vigor Certified Evildoer + Internet (VCE + Internet)||VCE||The VCE + Internet program gives you the skills needed to successfully use and support specific features of Vigor in today's Internet-demanding world. Information on composing spam emails, fly-by-night .com web pages, and other critical Internet tasks for the modern evil dispensation professional, using the Vigor platform, are covered.||$3000.00 US|
|Vigor Certified Evil Scheme Engineer (VCESE)||Six VCE certifications obtained within the last one (1) week||For evildoing professionals, Piquan Solutions offers the VCESE credential. VCESEs are qualified to plan, implement, maintain, and support plots to take over the world, mind-control schemes, destruction of enemies, and other evil schemes, using the Vigor environment. Study materials will center around "Things To Never Do As An Evil Overloard". Graduates will have access to beta versions of Vigor in a schedule as approved by Piquan Solutions.||$5000.00 US|
|Vigor Certified Trainer (VCT)||VCESE||VCT's play an important role in Piquan Industries' re-education process. VCTs are qualified instructionally and certified technically personally by Piquan to deliver training to evildoers everywhere. Study materials center around Anthony Burgess and Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange.||$9000.00 US|
All certifications include a certificate suitable for framing, an official and individual certification number (while supplies last), and a Vigor Evildoer button to wear at conferences, to let everybody know that you are a certified Vigor Evildoer. VCESEs also receive a secret decoder nose ring.
Since Piquan Enterprises is constantly updating our curriculum and programs based on industry input, all training and certification is on an as-available basis, and is subject to change, cancellation, or expiration without notice. Piquan is not responsible for the conduct of certified Evildoers. Thanks to Garrett Moffitt for the idea.